sin

I Do Not Understand

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Why do I do the things that I do not want to do and can not seem to be able to do the things that I want? What is the road block inside of me? Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me and then I read this scripture and know that my sinful nature is winning over my desire to do what I feel called to do. Why am I letting Satan inside my heart.

Romans 7:15-20 – 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

These scriptures are a reminder to me that sin dwells in me just as in others. I am no better than anyone else. The only Hope that I have is God, but I must be willing to voice the sin and do the hard work to pull it from my heart. If I keep my sin hidden it only continues to hurt others and my relationship with God because he can see all that is happening inside of me. God knows when I am hiding my sinful nature, so I must always seek God and be public in asking for forgiveness from God and others that my sin affects.

If I fail to acknowledge my sin then I am deceiving myself, and Satan who is the author of deception begins to control my path. I am warned in Galatians 6:7, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.” Hiding from sin will only cause me to reap a more sinful nature and do the things that I do not want to do. Hiding will push me further from God and his path for me. No matter how hard it is to confront my sin, I can only find peace by facing my sin and asking for forgiveness from God and others hurt by my actions.

Our world today is full of deception. As a Christian I have to examine what I believe or I will be deceived by what I think I know to be truth instead of what is truth. The world is full of deceit and deception. I see people who fiercely believe because they have been deceived by the world for so long that they can not see the truth that God has laid before us. What do my rose colored glasses see that is not the truth? Christians must examine more carefully through the lens of God and become examples for others to see truths.

Jeremiah 17:9 – “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; who can know it?” (NIV). “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (ESV).

I wrote about this verse and the heart years ago. Here is a link to that blog post “Searching for a New Heart“. This was a multi-part exploration if you would like to walk back in time with me.

Part 2: Searching for a New Heart Part 2

Part 3: Searching for a New Heart Part 3

Final: Searching for a New Heart

As I read this verse again and think about my sinful nature, I am thankful that vs 9 is followed by vs 10. “I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” May God search my heart and provide the spirit of discernment to overcome evil with good. I pray that my fruits be worthy of God. I pray that I am example of a Christian who walks her path and discerns truths as God sees and not as I see.

I will close with this verse from the New Testament –

1 Corinthians 10:9-14 – “We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents, nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer. Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come. Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.”

I pray for escape from temptation and flee from the things of this world, may God always provide the way out and may I always seek his way. I push myself to learn and understand why I sin and how to live a life more Christ like in the eyes of those around me, in the eyes of those watching me.

I know that I am a sinner and will always be as I walk on this earth, but may others see a person striving to walk the path that God has laid before me and an example when temptation and sin fall into my life. May I extend the grace God gives me to others. I know that is not what others may see at this moment but may God help me walk more firmly on his path. May God show me my path more clearly as I strive to walk with him.

 Ephesians 2:10 “For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them.”

With God I Can

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Photo Credit to She is Fierce.org

Being Anxious

I recently started a 7-Day Devotional plan in the Youversion Bible app titled “7 Things The Bible Says About Anxiety”. At the end of day one a challenge was offered:

  1. spend 5 minutes in prayer with God and share what you are anxious about – Done
  2. Journal about how you feel and how it is affecting you – Here it is…..
  3. Talk to a trusted Christian friend – still need to do at this point

This is my journal entry about how I feel and how it affects me to hold my anxiety. As I was preparing to write this entry because honestly, I just wanted to put it off, I thought of this picture that I had saved months and months ago. Sometimes a picture just speaks to me and I just hold it waiting for the time I feel God asking me to share it. So here I sit typing my feelings know that I can do this entry, I can overcome anxiety in my life, and I can be honest with myself in Christ.

Life Happens

Funny how life gets in the way and this post got sidetracked, but actually that is probably what God wanted at the time. He wanted me to listen to him. He continued to share devotionals with me throughout the week, and then on Sunday a sermon that caught my attention. Yep, I am listening now God. I know that sin does not define who I am and I can walk believing that my sin can or will consume me. I can walk free and forgiven through Christ. Instead of Can’t – I will give the cross to him so that I Can!

I guess seeing this picture months ago and saving it just for this time in my life is like those little miracles that God places in your life. Just as I read in Esther 4:14 “…for such a time as this.” Thank you God for always being the one by my side.

Final Lessons

So just a few lessons that I have learned from this week about Sin and how it can affect someone – ok someone like me! Our culture today is making is so easy for me to identify with my sin. When I do that I can not see the forgiveness and put the sin in the past. I identify with it and carry the shame of the sin and worry about my future maybe even my salvation. Yet Psalms 62:1 clearly shows me that, “For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from him comes my salvation.”

One final lesson learned this week was on forgiving of others when they have sinned against me, but they have to engage in the reconciliation. Just as I have to reconcile with those that I have sinned against. Definitely provides a lot of perspective for me. The Lord’s prayer shows us the way in so many areas and sin is not lost in the prayer. “and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Matthew 6:12.

Closing Verse: John 8:11 “And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

Challenge: Do not allow sin to define who you are and who God wants you to be!

The Sinner in Me

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Who Am I?

I have been writing for over a year now, but today I find myself in deep examination of who I am.  God has placed me between two verses of scripture.  I have had a glimpse into the darkness and ugliness inside of me, and I fear I am a hypocrite.  I study His Word and share His Love in my life, yet I hid from others.  I lie about who I am, I lie to those close to me by pretending I am someone I am not.

I Am a Sinner

Yes, I am a sinner and have always known that but when God placed this verse he fully reminded me of my sinfulness before I had to face my sins.

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Funny, I shared this verse out of social media because it touched me and had lots of responses and reactions to it which now is just a reminder to me of our sinful nature and how haunting it is just as God opened my eyes and exposed my own.  I am thankful and grateful for his love in opening my eyes, but I so struggle with the Why?  Why? am I hiding my sins knowing the pain it could cause.  How did I let this happen?

A Simple Prayer

I pray that God will some how bless these words from a sinner.  I don’t usually stop and pray in my writing, but I feel strongly that I need to stop and pray now.

Father, give me the wisdom and strength to shine light on my sinful nature, my lies, and the pain I have caused.  Bless these words that from within healing will come and that the truth will cleanse and make whole that which is broken through your grace and love.  Amen

Saying this prayer brings the verse that God brought to me today:

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I cling to this verse now as a goal for my life.  I am headed toward this cleansing by publicly and personally committing to cleaning myself of my flesh and moving toward more holiness.  A path I should have already taken in my life.  I will walk to this scripture knowing that God promises in Romans 8:28, “We know that God is always at work for the good of everyone who loves him.  They are the ones God has chosen for his purpose,”  I cling to these words that I am a child of God and long for Christ in my heart.

Ethics

Oh the irony of sitting in a class on Ethics and reading this quote today by George Santayana, “Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”  A stabbing reminder of my ethical sins.  As I become overwhelmed and humbled by my unworthiness, I can only fall before the throne and beg for forgiveness for my reckless sins and the hurt these have caused.  I am hiding behind God instead of him living within me.  The irony continues to drip in this class as I examine my own ethics. How have I been fraudulent to those around me?  The words are painful but necessary.  I see a sinner and liar in the mirror today but tomorrow I want to see Christ.  The only way to see Christ is to seek the truth.  As I close I want to share something I really learned in this class today and that is not to just apply the Golden Rule from Matthew 7:12, “Treat others as you want them to treat you.”  but maybe just maybe we should treat others the way they need to be treated in that moment.  I need to stop and see how my sins affect others around me.  Then maybe then I can truly call myself a Christian and feel like one.  Sin is hard to bear.

Closing:  (Prayer)  My Father, may you place the words of truth on my lips and guide me to share my sin of not choosing to follow you but my flesh.  Cleanse me and bring Your Glory.  In Jesus Name I pray.  Amen

Challenge:  When the devil and the angel sit on your shoulders, listen to the angel – Listen to God.

Seeing Sin Through Rose-Colored Glasses

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Life of Sin

I know I want to write this post but my mind and fingers just can’t find the words to type what I feel deep down inside.  Although, I know that I am born a sinner and will die a sinner, as a Christian, I do strive to be an example of Christ’s love to others.  This means not letting sin shine from me but allowing Christ to shine the brightest in my life. But, sometimes sin can really bring me down into the trenches of life.  I know that my flesh is sin as Galatians 5: 19-21 states, “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”  I want to shine, but I find myself buried in the guilt of sin, and in need of some time with my Father to seek myself again.  To know that I am loved and forgiven.  This is hard when I feel like unconditional love should not belong to me anymore.  I don’t want to deceive myself, but recognize my sins, cleanse myself, and as 1 John 1: 8-10 reads not believe that I am not a sinner, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.”

Rose-Colored Sin  

Knowing that I am a sinner and a Christian, my eyes are open to my sin.  I can not be a Christian who appears better than others, who does not understand others, and one who believes less of others.  Galatians 5:16 reminds me, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”  I know that I am blessed to walk with my Lord and Savior through life and I pray that I am an example to others, but I can’t do that if I am looking at my sin through rose-colored glasses.  I can’t compare my sin and believe it is less than others.  Sin is sin.  My sin can not be sugar-coated or viewed differently than others.  “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”  Romans 3:23.  I know wearing rose-colored glasses to look at my life is easy to do.  I want to see how good I am and not the sin.  It is easy to compare myself to others and believe the lie that I am better, but I know deep inside that I am not.

God’s Word

So what does one do, dig and dig and dig into God’s Word and know that He is my Father.  Yes, He is a Father of wrath, but his is also a Father of forgiveness.  God provided me a gift through the sacrifice of his Son.  A gift of forgiveness that I can not even fathom.  Just thinking of this sacrifice makes my eyes water and tears fall.  “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 6:23.  and “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9.  I search scripture to cleanse myself of unrighteousness and seek the comfort of His word for forgiveness.  I find myself on my knees with head bowed praying and begging for the forgiveness and love of my Father.  Thank you Lord for your gift, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” John 3:16-17

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Sin Scriptures for Study

Closing Verse:  “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.”  James 4:17

Challenge: Look closely at your life and ensure that you don’t perceive your sin differently from others.  Sin is Sin and the rose-colored glasses will not change it in God’s eyes.