faith

Lent 2023 Thoughts- Knowing God

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Feb. 24

ABBA -Father

Galatians 4:6 – “Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba,  Father’”.

I know I am only a few days into these lent devotions on Knowing God, but this is my favorite name for God.  I call him Abba often in my journal.  For me it feels more personal, and a reminder that his my Dad who is loving and protecting me and not an all-powerful ruling over me Father.    I am reminded again that Abba loves me where I am, but wants so much more for me.  I pray this Lent season will find me closer to his lap than ever.

The last paragraph today I just can’t write about but I want to pray over.  I know that each person who reads this will find different areas to pray about.  I find a few so will pray over this paragraph now…

“Where is Abba trying to Father you right now? Where is He trying to show you love that you’re having a hard time receiving it or where is He trying to show you patience or trust? Or maybe he is trying to set some boundaries and you are justifying. Is He inviting you into generosity but you are fearful to let go and trust or He is just trying to convince you that you are perfectly made exactly how He designed you and you just need to receive that?”  Amen

Prompt: Where is Abba trying to Father you right now?

Since the first of the year and the information about D’s business was delivered, I feel Abba has been pulling me closer and giving me more strength through prayer.  Every verse, devotion, and it seems everywhere I turn I have been driven towards prayer and learning more about a deeper relationship with God.  I feel I have a stronger faith in prayer than ever as I wait for his answers.  

Where is He trying to show you love that you’re having a hard time receiving it?

I struggle to receive that I am still worthy even when I sin and fall short.  Sometimes I fall into believing my sin is not forgiven or can’t be forgiven.  I begin to feel that I deserve less and God is not with me.  I know this is Satan creeping into my life.   I know God made me, but I struggle to celebrate myself.  This is an ongoing struggle I can not overcome with Abba.  I hate when I feel unworthy, but I know it is not true.

Where is He trying to show you patience or trust?

These are very personal right now and hard walks some days, but I am praying more for his love to cover me and give me patience each day to trust in his plan.  I remember that many have far less and are happy in the Lord.  I pray for Happiness and Joy always in the Lord. Amen

Feb. 22 and 23 ( Feb. 23rd is Fasting Day)

Alpha and Omega

Prompt:  How might you get to know God as the one, true God?  The Alpha and Omega.  How does that impact your view of God?

As a human, it is hard to fathom the Alpha and Omega that encompasses God.  I love the quote used, “all that can be, all that was, and all that is” That is hard to wrap my head around but it is the Alpha and Omega of God, but I must learn that God is all that can be, all that was, and all that is.   He has already planned the future and knows the days ahead.  I just need to walk deeper and closer to him and pray for Revival in my soul this Lent Season.  Lord, I pray my prayers in circles of faith that your will be done.  Ephesians was referenced and then I woke this morning to this very verse in my morning reminder to prayer. Ephesians 3:18-19 – “may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”  God is telling me something for sure.  A verse I will come back to again and again this season.  

Elohim Shomri

Prompt:  What would it look like today to walk more in the name of God – Elohim Shomri, God My Protector?

I would walk so close that I would lean on the Lord for support and cast all my cares, worries, and concerns openly on him because he already knows what they are.  I would believe he is my protection and all that I need both inside and out.  I want to shine my light of JOY and let him work through me on both my physical and emotional anxiety and pain.  He has already carried me through so many valleys, but I want to keep climbing even when I feel like falling until I reach the top.  Amen.

God is Omnipotent

Prompt:  How do you see God?  Do you see him as your protector, provision, foundation, and assurance?  Do you see him as merely someone to go to for your needs, or as someone who already knows what you need and can overwhelmingly provide for your needs?

I see God all around me sometimes living by the water or close to it allows me to see his beautiful creation and handiwork more often and feel close to him in a different way.  From the eagle rays and starfish below to all the different birds above – especially the Pelican.  The gentle Sereque and Iguanas observe me from afar.  Yet, feeling him around me does not answer how I see Him.  I know I have fallen into the habit of seeking God when in need. Not that this is wrong, but I do know he already knows all my needs, but I do believe I have to ask for those needs to be met and fully received.  I am working on dreaming big and praying boldly through by asking and praying more while believing he will answer in his own time about what is best for me.  My husband tells me I can be disappointed by specific prayers, but I believe God can’t disappoint me no matter how he answers my prayers, but my answer may not be what I want but it will be what I need.  Naturally, I want quick answers, but my answers may not be until even after I am gone home to heaven to be with Him.   I do believe he blesses all my prayers but I am young in being this type of prayer warrior and know my relationship needs to continue to be closer and stronger with the Lord.  That is where I am now and how I see God in my life as my protector, provider, my foundation and my assurance as I walk day to day striving to follow the path he has laid for me.

Scripture of Note:  Ephesians 3:20 – “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,”

Praying Through

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Learning to Pray

Prayer is something so easy to do, yet I fail over and over and over again to sustain prayer in my life. I know I am not alone in this, but lately God has been gifting me with verses that I need to risk more in my prayers, I need to praise the answers before they come and write my history before it happens (from Mark Batterson). The way to do this is through prayer.

God is challenging me now to learn how to pray, to seek time with him in prayer, the pray boldly for the future, and to have complete faith that he will answer in his own time and way. Honestly, I know he seeking me to seek him in prayer and he knows that I need a deeper relationship with him, and I firmly believe he wants to show me how great he is when he answers my prayers. I know I forget sometimes that he already knows what my prayers will be, but I still need to ask. I still need to pray.

Jesus tells us how to pray in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew chapter 6 verses 5-13. Jesus begins by telling us not to pray where others can hear so you are seen but to find a quiet place to be with the Father. So I should pray alone and unseen. Jesus also says not to babble with so many words, definitely something I need to work on, but to keep it simple because God already knows what we need. We just need to trust in him and ask. Finally, Jesus provides us with an example of how to pray which is the Lord’s prayer:

“Our Father in Heaven,

hallowed be your name,

your kingdom come,

your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil. (the evil one)

A simple outline, praise God, Ask that his will be done just as 1 John 5:14-15 states, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him.” Ask for our needs and forgiveness of our sins and a reminder to forgive others who have sinned against us. Why do we make praying so hard?

God and Me

God is seeking a relationship with me through prayer, but the only way this can really happen is that I have to have Faith. Faith in my prayers, Faith he will answers prayers, and Faith to be bold in my prayers and prayer time. If I have faith the rest of the relationship will be easy. The hard part is I get in the way instead of getting out of the way for God to work. Hebrews 11:1 defines Faith, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hope for = Pray for. God even helps me see that sometimes my little faith can do big things like the comparison to the mustard seed in Matthew 17:20, “He replied, ‘Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.'” When I read verses like this, I feel the urge to get down on my knees before the Lord and lift it all up in prayer, cast my burdens, and walk out in his light. I want to see the mountains move. I need to seek relationship and prayer with the Lord to build my faith and trust in the path the Lord wants for me. To close this section on God and I and our prayer relationship, I find myself reading Proverbs 3: 5-6 which seems fitting, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Stop leaning on myself and start leaning only on the Lord who has the answers if I will just seek him and ask because He tells me in Numbers 11:23 when he asking Moses whether he believes, “The Lord answered Moses, ‘Is the Lord’s arm too short? Now you will see whether or not what I say will come true for you.'” He delivered the quail in great numbers to the Israelites, so he will deliver answers to my prayers if I pray and ask.

Praying For

What and Why should I be praying. First, the bible is clear that the flesh makes us weak and leads us astray. Jesus even rebuked his own disciples about praying so they would not fall to temptation through the flesh. Matthew 26: 40-41 reads, “The he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. ‘Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour:’ he asked Peter. ‘Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.'” I read these lines and see myself and the disciples as human. I want to pray and my spirit is so willing, but how easily flesh can win and I don’t fall on our knees and pray the prayers I know I should. How many times have I failed to ask the Lord when I know he was calling me to pray and pray harder. When will I circle the prayer and believe that I must ask to receive. Matthew 7:7 plainly tell me this, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” But my human nature just fails. Mark 11:24 goes even deeper, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Oh “…you of little faith” Matthew 6:30. That is me too many times. God has been so good, yet I have little faith. I need to start realizing how important my relationship and faith is with the Lord. Instead of holding on, I need to be letting go and giving it to to Him who wants to show me his power if only I would ask. 1 Peter 5:7 provides this promise, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” The good and the bad he wants it all.

Maybe the hardest thing I find in scripture about what I should pray for is found in Luke 6:28, “bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” This seems so hard, but why we love all people and life effects everyone differently as they walk through it each day. I have the Lord and no worries or cares. I read recently that praying for those who persecute and mistreat you will bring God out to do even great work. I am going to pray harder for those victories. Even though, I know as Daniel did you have to sometimes pray for something a long time and wait for answers to our prayers. I can do it like Daniel in Daniel 10:12, “The he continued, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come to response in them.” Pray for the hard stuff, and for the bold stuff, most importantly pray.

My Prayer Spot

Above I mentioned Matthew 6, but now I want to specifically look at verse 6, “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” Jesus teaches that wIshould find a quiet place to pray where prying eyes are not watching. Prayer is personal and intimate and not for the world to share in. I don’t believe it has to be in my room, but the quiet place where I make room for God in my life and give him my burdens and joys and share with him my deepest secrets. Jesus is our example, as Luke 5:16 reads, “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Am I afraid to be alone with God? Am I afraid of what he will see? I know he already sees but sometimes it is hard to lay it before the perfect sacrifice when I am covered in so many blemishes, yet I know he loves me.

I like the quietness of morning with a cup of coffee and the darkness of the evening to dig myself into the Word and prayer with my Father. Even better is the sound of water by the sea, on the sea, surrounded by the sea and I can find myself in his arms and sheltered in prayer. This is where I find my peace from the world to pray.

Prayer Time

When should I pray? That question plagues me because of the scripture in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” The rejoicing is the easy part of this verse the pray without ceasing is the difficult part. This is a human failure. Our minds wonder and our focus wanes, but God calls us to stay the course and pray in all circumstances. This leads me to Philippians 4:6, which sounds a similar to the verse above as we are called to pray and give it all to the Lord. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

I believe my human nature drives me to prayer when things look down, and scripture calls me to not be anxious or worry. Scripture is very clear about this in Matthew 6:25-27: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” I am called to relinquish it all to God to approach his throne in my time of need, “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:16.

Oh to be bold with prayer like Elijah who called down the power of the Lord to bring fire and burn up his sacrifice to turn the heart’s of God’s people back to the Lord. Elijah stood in that miracle and prayed again for rain. He was bold and he believed. May I be bold like Elijah in prayer and stand on miracles to pray even bolder prayers. Elijah is still like us that even after seeing God’s answers to his prayer he fled from Jezebel, but God as usual has a plan. Read about Elijah in 1 Kings 17-19. Dig Deep! While reading these chapters, remember James 5:17-18, “Elijah was a human being even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced crops.” It was a great reminder to revisit Elijah and his bold prayers that I must stand in my faith when I pray and not my human flesh. Because “….with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26.

Heavenly Wisdom

My prayer is seek his wisdom in my life and live in that wisdom described in James 3:17-18, “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.” I seek wisdom and peace which I can only find when I pray with bold faith. So I “humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” James 4:10. Amen.

I am the Resurrection and the Life

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John 11: 17-44

I have read the story of Lazarus’s resurrection many times, but have never thought about it in terms of my own resurrection and life everlasting. Jesus made a choice to wait four days to show the world his purpose here and resurrection so that those who believe might have life everlasting through forgiveness of our sins.

Jesus arrives in Bethany where Lazarus has died four days ago. Mary and Martha are in mourning for their brother. When they hear that Jesus has arrived in Bethany, Martha quickly goes to meet him while Mary chooses to stay behind at the house. I know there is significance here, about how the death impacts these two women, I can see that everyone responds to death and grieving in different ways. Martha is angry as scripture soon shares, but Mary sees no reason to go ahead to Jesus and point fingers since her brother is gone and continues to mourn in her home. It is a reminder that people all grieve differently and feel the loss of loved ones from their lives in different ways.

Martha arrives to meet Jesus in what I read as upset and even angry with Jesus for not coming sooner, and tells Jesus that Lazarus would not have died had he come sooner. Yet, she believes that even now Jesus can bring Lazarus back to them. Martha has tremendous faith. This faith is one that I can quickly read over, but her belief in the resurrection of her brother is real and she is not afraid to utter the words to Jesus. Jesus responds to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha agrees that he will one day rise again in the last days, and Jesus then responds to her once again with, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me , though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believe in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” Martha responds that she believes that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.” Once again Jesus is reminding not just Martha and those with her but the world that life everlasting only comes from him. He wants to hear the words from Martha and she has no hesitation in her belief even as she mourns her brother’s death. She stands strong in her faith.

Martha returned to her sister and to tells her that Jesus was asking for her, so Mary leaves and goes to meet Jesus. She arrives and falls before Him saying as her sister that if Jesus had been here Lazarus would be alive. Mary comes to Jesus not with anger but with grief. When Jesus saw her weeping he was deeply moved in his spirit and troubled. The emotions of Mary move something inside of Jesus.

Mary takes Jesus to the tomb. Jesus wept. This one line in scripture is short yet powerful. Jesus wept for Lazarus for Mary and Martha, and for the world. Maybe Jesus is even weeping for himself because he knows what is about to happen in order to bring Lazarus, Mary, Martha, and me into his kingdom. Then Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead. He asks his Father aloud so that others could see and believe, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this on account of the people standing around, that they may believe that you sent me.” Jesus does not need to speak to his Father aloud, but he does, so that the world would see his example and the image of resurrection about the happen.

Lazarus walks out of his tomb just as Christ would soon rise from the dead and walk from his tomb to cleanse us of our sins. Such a bold move by God. Such a sacrifice of both God and Christ just to bring me into the family. I want to rise from my grave like Lazarus! I want to walk the streets of gold made for me. I want live with my Father and Christ one day!

I revisited the resurrection of Lazarus recently at a funeral. At first I found it odd for this passage to be chosen, but as the funeral continued and the story was told again in this setting, I could see how important it was to send hope to others that through Christ and Christ alone can we be saved. Lazarus was only saved by Jesus and I can only be saved by Jesus as well. What a beautiful message as we said goodbye to a beautiful young woman. She will Rise. I will Rise. Amen

Voice of Truth

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Oh what I would do to have

The kind of faith it takes

To climb out of this boat I’m in

Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone

Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is

And He’s holding out His hand

Another blog post visiting an old song favorite.  I have been doing this devotional study on marriage.  I just finished up this section on fighting together.  That topic might be for another post in the future, but part of the devotion discussed God being the third party in our marriage. That if I listen to him I or (we) will be unburdened and our marriage will become stronger.  As I read this section, which I enjoyed since fighting is not a specialty I have in my marriage this song just seem to come to mind again.  Allowing God into our marriage intimately and closely can be stepping out of our comfort zone into the unknown since we really love to be in control of our lives.  Scripture does remind us that God can make it easier and our burdens lighter if we join him even in our marriage.  “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:30.

But the waves are calling out my name

And they laugh at me

Reminding me of all the times

I’ve tried before and failed

The waves they keep on telling me

Time and time again. ‘Boy, you’ll never win!’

‘You’ll never win!’

Although, I have failed many times in my life and know that feeling the fear of failure and how it will affect my life is just daunting to take the step out of the boat and trust in God.  Yet, I know that God is with me and holding me as I make that leap onto the water.  I Corinthians 10:13 makes this promise, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”  Temptation or failure.  God will be there and not allow more than I can handle.  So bringing God close to my marriage and allowing him to see me more deeply even though I know he already sees all.  The scripture also ensures that God is on my side or the side of my marriage vow.  “What then shall we say to these things?  If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31

Chorus:

But the voice of truth tells me a different story

The voice of truth says, ‘Do not be afraid!’

The voice of truth says, ‘This is for My glory’

Out of all the voices calling out to me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

If I stop and listen, I hear God’s voice telling me to that my marriage and life will be stronger and more fulfilling if he is in the center.  I hear him telling me to reach out and grab hold of his love and promises.  As long as I have God first he will be glorified. I believe that God will be glorified in my marriage because  he can show me the way to honor and glorified him in all that I do.  “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”, 1 Corinthians 10:31.

Oh what I would do to have

The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant

With just a sling and a stone

Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors

Shaking in their armor

Wishing they’d have had the strength to stand

But the giant’s calling out my name

And he laughs at me

Reminding me of all the times

I’ve tried before and failed

The giant keeps on telling me

Time and time again. ‘Boy you’ll never win!’

‘You’ll never win!’

Do you hear the giant laughing,  I have heard the giant laughing at me, but I feel the strength of God telling me that I can take the next step in my life and my marriage will be stronger for it.  I can be David before what seems like Goliath!  “Then David said to the Philistine, “You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.” 1 Samuel 17:45.  I walk in the name of the Lord and he will be by my side, so I look to the future may God show me his path that I might glorify him.

But the stone was just the right size

To put the giant on the ground

And the waves they don’t seem so high

From on top of them lookin’ down

I will soar with the wings of eagles

When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus

Singing over me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I choose to listen and believe the voice of truth, the voice of my Father and his son Jesus Christ. I will not let my heart worry and my love for him be distracted in this world, but I will know that God is in control.  “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. John 14:1.  I will find my strength in the Lord on his wings.  “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”  Isaiah 40:31.  I will bring God to the center of my life and my marriage.  

Closing Verse: “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

Challenge:  Is God’s Voice of Truth your Center?

Believing in God Through the Water

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June 30, 2017

Back in June of 2017, I wrote a post about Water(link).  This post grew out of walking along the The Riverwalk in San Antonio, Texas.  Since this post, I have spent so much time in on the water, but tonight as I looked out at this sunset near Cedar Key, Florida.  I was flooded with the peacefulness of water in God’s creation.  

Sunset on the Water

Sunsets are my favorite, but whether it is sunset or sunrise over the water it always takes my breath away.  This evening in Cedar Key was no different, but tonight my thoughts drifted to God’s creation.  The beauty of the water rippling under the sunset is a perfect example of why I believe there is a God.  Romans 1:20 reminds us that God has left no doubt in why we should believe in Him, “For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made.  So they are without excuse.”  Man is without excuse, yet today we busy ourselves with the hustle and bustle that allows our lives to slip through our fingers and then is gone.  Did we see God?  Did we find God? Did we stop and smell the flowers?  Watch Sunsets?  Listen to the Water?  In a blink it is all gone.  So stop and listen to God.  Proverbs 3:6 reassures us, ” In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

Sunset Challenge

If you are reading this my challenge to you is to stop reading now.  Pray.  And start looking beyond your day to day life and what you normally see and search for God in your surroundings.  Look deeper into the Water.  

Closing Verse:  “ O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.”  Psalm 63:1

Challenge:  Find God in his creation ~ Don’t Miss Out!

Jeremiah 29:11

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For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Jeremiah 29:11.

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This verse has always been one of my favorite verses and now I am leaning on these words from God more than ever as a new season of my life is beginning.  I look back over so many years of my life, so many good times, and I know that this will just be another great chapter.  As always a new season brings apprehension and uncertainty.  As I sit at this juncture and look back at the past chapters and how God has worked then I know that he will walk with me once again through this time.  “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalm 119:105.

Walking back through God’s plan for my life 

 

I guess my adult story begins with meeting my husband.  God placed a great man in my life.  As I continue to walk through life with him, I pray that I am the mate that he always wanted because I am more than thankful and blessed to have him.  Our story began in May of 1989.   “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24.  When we reflect on this time in our life now, we wonder how we made it.  Sometimes being young makes you more resilient.  Although we struggled as a young couple, we endured and entered that next phase of our life in November of 1991 when our first daughter came into our lives, and again in November of 1994 with the birth of our second daughter.

 

Babies

November 1991 and 1994 our family grew and changed me so that I was no longer just a wife but a mother.  God blessed us with two beautiful daughters who to this day we are so proud of.  They are now strong independent woman.  “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 2:6.  Learning to be parents as a young married couple is both challenging and rewarding.  We learned many years later the reward was they left our home while we were still young enough to enjoy life and each other.  Life continued to change as they grew up, entered school, played sports, danced, etc.  While they were still young, I took the steps to receive my Masters in Library and Information Studies.  Leaving the classroom for the school library was a big step but one that has made my career a special place.  I have loved my job.

Next Phase for Everyone

Sometimes their busy lives consumed ours and as they entered high school, my husband and I realized we needed to find each other again.  No regrets on our children and our time with them, but we needed to reconnect.  This became easier as they were older and heading toward high school graduation.  During this time we added Harley to our lives, a new puppy.  Our daughters had lived on a farm with dogs and horses, but never experienced a puppy.  We all fell in love fast!

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Each transition in losing a child from the home was bittersweet, but we reveled in watching them soar on God’s wings.  “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31.  High school graduation came for them both and off to college they went.  Both in different directions to different types of schools.

 

We began enjoying the life as empty nesters and learning to enjoy each other again.  This chapter of our lives was watching our daughters grow into adults and soar while reconnecting with each other and enjoying life to the fullest!  College graduations came and went.

 

 

Our oldest daughter married and entered graduate school while working full time.  Our youngest entered graduate school working full time and Mom and Dad are just not as needed in their lives anymore.

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Next Step

Now, here I stand again at a major life change and a new chapter to write.  But as I wrote these few memories and dug out these pictures, I was able to revisit so many memories from horses to motorcycles, Myrtle Beach to the Caribbean trips, and all those special memories from Christmas to soccer tournaments and golf state qualifications.  We have had so much fun.  Then the memories of my career.  Remember above I spoke of entering the school library and becoming a school librarian.  This career is deeply planted in my soul.   I love the kids, literacy, research, and the learning that happens in a school library, but it is time for me to write another chapter of my life.  I am ready to  hand over these reigns and enjoy day to day life with my husband.

I am planning retirement….

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Yes, I am excited about the future, but torn with the deep love of my job.  I didn’t know it would be this hard to let go, so I lean on my verse again.  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Jeremiah 29:11.   I know that God has plans for my future and has already written these chapters.  I trust in him as I walk this new path.  I trust in him as I venture into the unknown.  I trust in him to show me his glory and that I might have opportunities on this new adventure to share his love and grace with others.

Closing Verse:

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Challenge:  God knows the plans he has for you.  Walk in his Word.

Eye of the Storm

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Peace in the midst of the Storm

Today, I sit and wait on Florence to arrive at my home. She has ravaged the NC coastline and kept me in the dark for days about my daughters well-being.  Today, though, I received good news for a change.  All is well where she is and her home is still standing with minimal damage.  Praise God!  Watching the rain and wind now brings me little anxiety as compared to the past few days.  God has answered prayer.  “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:24.  As I praised God this morning, I just felt this song in my heart.  I needed to hear it and sing it.  The emotions of the last few days are wrapped up in these words by Ryan Stevenson.

When the solid ground is falling out
From underneath my feet
Between the black skies and my red eyes
I can barely see
When I realize I’ve been let down by my friends and my family
I can hear the rain reminding me

In the eye of the storm, You remain in control
In the middle of the war, You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor, when my sails are torn
Your love surrounds, me in the eye of the storm

I know that as I watched, waited, and cried these last few days, God was with me and he comforted me and cared for me.  “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4.  He loved me like no one could in such circumstances.  He was my rock and anchor when I felt like everything was out of control.   He provided my solid ground.

Faith in the midst of the Storm

This past week when I felt out of control and helpless, it was my faith that kept me going through the storm.  “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1.  Walking in my faith has been the strength God has provided as I waited and waited for word of the storms impact.

When my hopes and dreams are far from me
And I’m running out of faith
I see the future I pictured slowly fade away
And when the tears of pain and heartache are pouring down my face
I find my peace in Jesus’ name

In the eye of the storm, You remain in control
In the middle of the war, You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor, when my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me, in the eye of the storm

Faith is all that can bring peace in the midst of storms in life.  Whether the storm is real or just storms of life the only peace can be found in faith.  “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”  Romans 5:1.  Guard your soul with the word of God.

Trust in the Lord

So this storm has taught me to trust more in the Lord.  To give my worries to him and stand in his strength and faith.  He is my protector.  “He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.” Psalm 91:4.  I will hid under his wings through the storm.


When they let me go and I just don’t know
How I’m gonna make ends meet
I did my best
Now I’m scared to death
That we might lose everything

And when a sickness takes my child away
And there’s nothing I can do
My only hope is to trust You
I trust You LORD

In the eye of the storm, You remain in control
In the middle of the war, You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor, when my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me, in the eye of the storm

In the eye of the storm, You remain in control
In the middle of the war, You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor when my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me in the eye of the storm

Closing Verse:  “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.”  2 Thessalonians 3:16.

Challenge: Find refuge and peace in the eye of the storm under your Father’s wings where peace and faith live.

 

 

Visit Ryan’s website: http://smarturl.it/ryanstevenson

Connect with Ryan Stevenson:

Facebook: http://smarturl.it/ryanfacebook

Instagram: http://smarturl.it/ryansinstagram

Twitter: http://smarturl.it/ryanstwitter

 

 

Searching for a New Heart – Part 3

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Heart of Wickedness

I have been  meditating, read scriptures on the heart and praying for more guidance by the Lord from scripture for my  heart. Fully understanding what must take place in my heart means I must fully understand my heart and how it works in this world where the devil operates.  As I look back at Jeremiah 17:9 the verse that really began this walk for me, I look at different versions to dig for deeper meaning from the verse.  One of my favorites is the ESV, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”  I really start to realize not just how I need to focus on my heart but how hard it is to understand others especially when the heart is full of such wickedness.  No one can understand the heart and maybe not even the person whose heart is consumed with wickedness.  That is a scary thought.  Not just for those I love but for me.

Christ – A sacrifice for the Heart

Romans 1:21 in some ways expresses this even among believers “For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.”  The frightening impact of that verse is that even those that know God may not choose to honor God because of their heart.  I pray that will not be my heart.  Lord I ask that you lead me to a new heart, and one that loves and prays for the hearts of those who are lost.  It is sad that man had to find this wicked path, but as I study the heart, I realize the impact that God has had with the gift of Christ to save me from my sins.  I can feel hope in his resurrection that my heart can be resurrected from the wickedness that it bears.  From the fall man has had wickedness in his heart.  Genesis 6:5 reads, ” The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.”  These words bring tears to my eyes to know that God has endured so much pain by man that he loves so much, and that love provided a sacrifice in Christ that would save us all from our wicked hearts.

Heart of Pride

Acts 7:51 reads “You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in hearts and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit.  As your fathers did, so do you.”  The evil in man has been for so long sometimes I think it is even hard for us to see it.  People who have uncircumcised hearts have hearts that are not purified and heathen.  An uncircumcised heart leads to a hard heart which leads to no relationship with the Lord.  Ephesians 4:18 says, “They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart.”  May God give the wisdom not to be ignorant so my heart my live and rejoice in the Lord.  Ignorance that has a heart like the one in 2 Peter 2:14 “They have eyes full of adultery, insatiable for sin.  They entice unsteady souls.  They have hearts trained in greed.  Accursed children!”  These verses take me back to Proverbs 16:5 and the pride God hates in our hearts.  Searching I found Jeremiah 49:16 which speaks of more pride and how the Lord will still hunts us “The horror you inspire has deceived you, and the pride of your heart, you who live in the clefts of the rock, who hold the height of the hill.  Though you make your nest as high as the eagle’s, I will bring you down from there, declares the Lord.”   Even full of pride the Lord can bring us to our knees.

Resurrection Saves My Heart

Yes that is what he has done to me.  I refuse to have a hard heart one that is spoken of in Romans 2:5 “But because of your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath when God’s righteous judgement will be revealed.”  I want the heart of Matthew 6: 21 that is full of treasures in heaven – “For where you treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  May my heart and my treasure be full of the resurrection of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who is spoken of in 1 Peter 2:24, “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness.  By his wounds you have been healed!  Praise God – He is Risen!

Closing Verse:  Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Challenge:  I have the same prayer for you and your heart!  Seek to find Christ in your Heart.

Searching For a New Heart

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Recently, I started looking back at some of my post and find this random 4 part series on the heart back in 2013.  I was not writing regularly back then so decided to repost this series over the next few weeks with some edits.  (First posted on March 13, 2013)

Open My Eyes to My Heart

kablam_glossy_heartSometimes I sit in awe of the Lord and how he leads us and draws us near to him.  Recently I have been praying and asking God to help me let go of some things which were causing me to become a person I did not want to be.    It is funny sometimes how something you have always known just really comes to light and you have to accept it for what it is.  I guess the finality of acceptance is something we as humans try to avoid.  I know that I have in many areas of my life.  As God recently opened my eyes to this ugly person I did not want to be, he sent me searching through scripture and everywhere I turned he introduced me to my heart.  Not this heart that I can be proud of but the real heart inside of me.  I will get to that.  I feel lead to share where God is leading me on this in-depth discovery of the heart.  I long for the new heart the scriptures speak of but to have that heart I must understand the heart as a whole.

Good vs Evil

The heart can be root of both Good and Evil, but more often the heart will lead us down the easiest road and usually that is not where we truly want to go.  As I read various scriptures, I decided to turn to Strong’s Commentary for some guidance and here I found a plethora of verses that speak of what is seeded in the heart.  I was lead to all this because I was not right and I quietly and silently began really listening to God.  He began to show me so many things about myself as I read the scripture.  Everything kept leading toward the heart and that caught my attention.  Specifically I began a 6 day devotional study on Love & Marriage I found and guess what Day 1 was on – you guess it – the Heart.  This first devotion is the initial cause of my digging.  I felt God calling me to the scriptures for more.  One of the verses shared in the study on day 1 was Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?” I felt completely and utterly a failure because following my heart without God would always lead to wickedness because the heart is wicked.  Who can know our heart?  The simple answer is only God and he knows all our wickedness.  So begins this journey to know my heart.

Following Scripture

I have been visiting verses lately that speak of what is rooted in the heart.  These verses can sometimes seem good but if you really look at what can come from the heart you see the wickedness.  The first verse from Jesus in Matthew 5: 28 “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”  So our sin before it is revealed has already been committed in our heart.  But what of lust as I noticed a verse was listed that spoke specifically to this word found in Romans 1:24 “Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves.”  So God pulled away and their hearts took over which lead back to Matthew 5:28.  What of our desires?  Romans 10:1 says “…my heart’s desire and prayer to God for Israel is that they may be saved.”  At first read, this sounds good but looking deeper I see that we have to have control of what our heart desires.  Left alone we become the heart in Matthew 5 and Romans 1.  As I sit speechless and pray that the Lord will help me find my new heart with him.  I am almost afraid to continue on but the draw is powerful to read more.  What more words did Jesus have to say about the heart?

Mark 11:23 reads in the words of Jesus, “For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.”  This verse sounds so awesome, but to have this faith.  It is so easy to say yes Lord I have this much faith when really my heart doubts.  Jesus says in John 14:1 ” Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.”  I must not let trouble and doubt fill my heart just the Lord so my faith can overcome the wickedness my heart desires.  These words are similar to those from Isaiah 35: 4 “Say to those who are fearful-hearted, ‘Be strong, do not fear! Behold, your God will come with a vengeance, With the recompense of God; He will come and save you.”  With such words from our Lord why do I let me heart be my guide?

Time to meditate on these words from scripture.  Putting this puzzle together is encouraging but also brings me to my knees in need of prayer.  Before seeking more it is time for prayer.  Time to start seeking my new heart.

Closing Verse: “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

Challenge:  My prayer is that God will be my guide and work in my heart. May he also be yours.

 

 

Security Blankets

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What Is My Security Blanket?

Harley and I flew again this week and as I did my usual preparations for the flight, I watched Harley crawl into the safety of her crate with her blanket.  “He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.” Psalm 91:4.  Something about watching her at the airport and on the plane in the safety of her “special place” sent me to thinking about my own security blankets. Security blankets can be a great thing to have, but sometimes I feel I can’t let go of my blankets.  I am going to bet we all have some.  You know those things or “that thing” you just can’t let go of in life.  You think it is your safety net and what you need to keep your life complete.  But then you sit around and dream all those big dreams, so at moments like this I ask myself why am I not living some of those dreams.  Why don’t I trust that if God is putting the dream in my heart that maybe he just might open the doors and pave the path for those dreams.  Why am I holding on so tight to my security blankets?  Obviously, I am longing to feel secure but finding that security in the wrong places, when the only place I need to look is in His Word and to His Son.  “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8.

What Should Be My Security Blanket?

I know that my humanness has me holding on so tight to what I know, to what is easy, yet my heart is willing to dream and walk with God.  “My humanness” makes things messy while God makes them simple.  The only real security blanket I need has already been provided to me.  ““For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16.  God gave me His Son.  He sacrificed him to protect me from myself.  He promises he has me secure, so that I can let go of my security blankets and dream, and live, and service him even more.  “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45.

Closing Verse:  “But made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.” Philippians 2:7.

Challenge:  Let go of your security blankets and serve the Lord.