Lent 2023 Thoughts- Knowing God

Feb. 24

ABBA -Father

Galatians 4:6 – “Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba,  Father’”.

I know I am only a few days into these lent devotions on Knowing God, but this is my favorite name for God.  I call him Abba often in my journal.  For me it feels more personal, and a reminder that his my Dad who is loving and protecting me and not an all-powerful ruling over me Father.    I am reminded again that Abba loves me where I am, but wants so much more for me.  I pray this Lent season will find me closer to his lap than ever.

The last paragraph today I just can’t write about but I want to pray over.  I know that each person who reads this will find different areas to pray about.  I find a few so will pray over this paragraph now…

“Where is Abba trying to Father you right now? Where is He trying to show you love that you’re having a hard time receiving it or where is He trying to show you patience or trust? Or maybe he is trying to set some boundaries and you are justifying. Is He inviting you into generosity but you are fearful to let go and trust or He is just trying to convince you that you are perfectly made exactly how He designed you and you just need to receive that?”  Amen

Prompt: Where is Abba trying to Father you right now?

Since the first of the year and the information about D’s business was delivered, I feel Abba has been pulling me closer and giving me more strength through prayer.  Every verse, devotion, and it seems everywhere I turn I have been driven towards prayer and learning more about a deeper relationship with God.  I feel I have a stronger faith in prayer than ever as I wait for his answers.  

Where is He trying to show you love that you’re having a hard time receiving it?

I struggle to receive that I am still worthy even when I sin and fall short.  Sometimes I fall into believing my sin is not forgiven or can’t be forgiven.  I begin to feel that I deserve less and God is not with me.  I know this is Satan creeping into my life.   I know God made me, but I struggle to celebrate myself.  This is an ongoing struggle I can not overcome with Abba.  I hate when I feel unworthy, but I know it is not true.

Where is He trying to show you patience or trust?

These are very personal right now and hard walks some days, but I am praying more for his love to cover me and give me patience each day to trust in his plan.  I remember that many have far less and are happy in the Lord.  I pray for Happiness and Joy always in the Lord. Amen

Feb. 22 and 23 ( Feb. 23rd is Fasting Day)

Alpha and Omega

Prompt:  How might you get to know God as the one, true God?  The Alpha and Omega.  How does that impact your view of God?

As a human, it is hard to fathom the Alpha and Omega that encompasses God.  I love the quote used, “all that can be, all that was, and all that is” That is hard to wrap my head around but it is the Alpha and Omega of God, but I must learn that God is all that can be, all that was, and all that is.   He has already planned the future and knows the days ahead.  I just need to walk deeper and closer to him and pray for Revival in my soul this Lent Season.  Lord, I pray my prayers in circles of faith that your will be done.  Ephesians was referenced and then I woke this morning to this very verse in my morning reminder to prayer. Ephesians 3:18-19 – “may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”  God is telling me something for sure.  A verse I will come back to again and again this season.  

Elohim Shomri

Prompt:  What would it look like today to walk more in the name of God – Elohim Shomri, God My Protector?

I would walk so close that I would lean on the Lord for support and cast all my cares, worries, and concerns openly on him because he already knows what they are.  I would believe he is my protection and all that I need both inside and out.  I want to shine my light of JOY and let him work through me on both my physical and emotional anxiety and pain.  He has already carried me through so many valleys, but I want to keep climbing even when I feel like falling until I reach the top.  Amen.

God is Omnipotent

Prompt:  How do you see God?  Do you see him as your protector, provision, foundation, and assurance?  Do you see him as merely someone to go to for your needs, or as someone who already knows what you need and can overwhelmingly provide for your needs?

I see God all around me sometimes living by the water or close to it allows me to see his beautiful creation and handiwork more often and feel close to him in a different way.  From the eagle rays and starfish below to all the different birds above – especially the Pelican.  The gentle Sereque and Iguanas observe me from afar.  Yet, feeling him around me does not answer how I see Him.  I know I have fallen into the habit of seeking God when in need. Not that this is wrong, but I do know he already knows all my needs, but I do believe I have to ask for those needs to be met and fully received.  I am working on dreaming big and praying boldly through by asking and praying more while believing he will answer in his own time about what is best for me.  My husband tells me I can be disappointed by specific prayers, but I believe God can’t disappoint me no matter how he answers my prayers, but my answer may not be what I want but it will be what I need.  Naturally, I want quick answers, but my answers may not be until even after I am gone home to heaven to be with Him.   I do believe he blesses all my prayers but I am young in being this type of prayer warrior and know my relationship needs to continue to be closer and stronger with the Lord.  That is where I am now and how I see God in my life as my protector, provider, my foundation and my assurance as I walk day to day striving to follow the path he has laid for me.

Scripture of Note:  Ephesians 3:20 – “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,”

Praying Through

Learning to Pray

Prayer is something so easy to do, yet I fail over and over and over again to sustain prayer in my life. I know I am not alone in this, but lately God has been gifting me with verses that I need to risk more in my prayers, I need to praise the answers before they come and write my history before it happens (from Mark Batterson). The way to do this is through prayer.

God is challenging me now to learn how to pray, to seek time with him in prayer, the pray boldly for the future, and to have complete faith that he will answer in his own time and way. Honestly, I know he seeking me to seek him in prayer and he knows that I need a deeper relationship with him, and I firmly believe he wants to show me how great he is when he answers my prayers. I know I forget sometimes that he already knows what my prayers will be, but I still need to ask. I still need to pray.

Jesus tells us how to pray in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew chapter 6 verses 5-13. Jesus begins by telling us not to pray where others can hear so you are seen but to find a quiet place to be with the Father. So I should pray alone and unseen. Jesus also says not to babble with so many words, definitely something I need to work on, but to keep it simple because God already knows what we need. We just need to trust in him and ask. Finally, Jesus provides us with an example of how to pray which is the Lord’s prayer:

“Our Father in Heaven,

hallowed be your name,

your kingdom come,

your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil. (the evil one)

A simple outline, praise God, Ask that his will be done just as 1 John 5:14-15 states, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him.” Ask for our needs and forgiveness of our sins and a reminder to forgive others who have sinned against us. Why do we make praying so hard?

God and Me

God is seeking a relationship with me through prayer, but the only way this can really happen is that I have to have Faith. Faith in my prayers, Faith he will answers prayers, and Faith to be bold in my prayers and prayer time. If I have faith the rest of the relationship will be easy. The hard part is I get in the way instead of getting out of the way for God to work. Hebrews 11:1 defines Faith, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hope for = Pray for. God even helps me see that sometimes my little faith can do big things like the comparison to the mustard seed in Matthew 17:20, “He replied, ‘Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.'” When I read verses like this, I feel the urge to get down on my knees before the Lord and lift it all up in prayer, cast my burdens, and walk out in his light. I want to see the mountains move. I need to seek relationship and prayer with the Lord to build my faith and trust in the path the Lord wants for me. To close this section on God and I and our prayer relationship, I find myself reading Proverbs 3: 5-6 which seems fitting, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Stop leaning on myself and start leaning only on the Lord who has the answers if I will just seek him and ask because He tells me in Numbers 11:23 when he asking Moses whether he believes, “The Lord answered Moses, ‘Is the Lord’s arm too short? Now you will see whether or not what I say will come true for you.'” He delivered the quail in great numbers to the Israelites, so he will deliver answers to my prayers if I pray and ask.

Praying For

What and Why should I be praying. First, the bible is clear that the flesh makes us weak and leads us astray. Jesus even rebuked his own disciples about praying so they would not fall to temptation through the flesh. Matthew 26: 40-41 reads, “The he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. ‘Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour:’ he asked Peter. ‘Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.'” I read these lines and see myself and the disciples as human. I want to pray and my spirit is so willing, but how easily flesh can win and I don’t fall on our knees and pray the prayers I know I should. How many times have I failed to ask the Lord when I know he was calling me to pray and pray harder. When will I circle the prayer and believe that I must ask to receive. Matthew 7:7 plainly tell me this, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” But my human nature just fails. Mark 11:24 goes even deeper, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Oh “…you of little faith” Matthew 6:30. That is me too many times. God has been so good, yet I have little faith. I need to start realizing how important my relationship and faith is with the Lord. Instead of holding on, I need to be letting go and giving it to to Him who wants to show me his power if only I would ask. 1 Peter 5:7 provides this promise, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” The good and the bad he wants it all.

Maybe the hardest thing I find in scripture about what I should pray for is found in Luke 6:28, “bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” This seems so hard, but why we love all people and life effects everyone differently as they walk through it each day. I have the Lord and no worries or cares. I read recently that praying for those who persecute and mistreat you will bring God out to do even great work. I am going to pray harder for those victories. Even though, I know as Daniel did you have to sometimes pray for something a long time and wait for answers to our prayers. I can do it like Daniel in Daniel 10:12, “The he continued, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come to response in them.” Pray for the hard stuff, and for the bold stuff, most importantly pray.

My Prayer Spot

Above I mentioned Matthew 6, but now I want to specifically look at verse 6, “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” Jesus teaches that wIshould find a quiet place to pray where prying eyes are not watching. Prayer is personal and intimate and not for the world to share in. I don’t believe it has to be in my room, but the quiet place where I make room for God in my life and give him my burdens and joys and share with him my deepest secrets. Jesus is our example, as Luke 5:16 reads, “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Am I afraid to be alone with God? Am I afraid of what he will see? I know he already sees but sometimes it is hard to lay it before the perfect sacrifice when I am covered in so many blemishes, yet I know he loves me.

I like the quietness of morning with a cup of coffee and the darkness of the evening to dig myself into the Word and prayer with my Father. Even better is the sound of water by the sea, on the sea, surrounded by the sea and I can find myself in his arms and sheltered in prayer. This is where I find my peace from the world to pray.

Prayer Time

When should I pray? That question plagues me because of the scripture in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” The rejoicing is the easy part of this verse the pray without ceasing is the difficult part. This is a human failure. Our minds wonder and our focus wanes, but God calls us to stay the course and pray in all circumstances. This leads me to Philippians 4:6, which sounds a similar to the verse above as we are called to pray and give it all to the Lord. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

I believe my human nature drives me to prayer when things look down, and scripture calls me to not be anxious or worry. Scripture is very clear about this in Matthew 6:25-27: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” I am called to relinquish it all to God to approach his throne in my time of need, “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:16.

Oh to be bold with prayer like Elijah who called down the power of the Lord to bring fire and burn up his sacrifice to turn the heart’s of God’s people back to the Lord. Elijah stood in that miracle and prayed again for rain. He was bold and he believed. May I be bold like Elijah in prayer and stand on miracles to pray even bolder prayers. Elijah is still like us that even after seeing God’s answers to his prayer he fled from Jezebel, but God as usual has a plan. Read about Elijah in 1 Kings 17-19. Dig Deep! While reading these chapters, remember James 5:17-18, “Elijah was a human being even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced crops.” It was a great reminder to revisit Elijah and his bold prayers that I must stand in my faith when I pray and not my human flesh. Because “….with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26.

Heavenly Wisdom

My prayer is seek his wisdom in my life and live in that wisdom described in James 3:17-18, “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.” I seek wisdom and peace which I can only find when I pray with bold faith. So I “humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” James 4:10. Amen.

Legacy of Christmas

BE STILL this Christmas and take time to revisit what the Lord did for us all so many Christmases ago……


Line of Abraham
Genesis 12:3Matthew 1:1
Virgin Birth
Isaiah 7:14Matthew 1:18-23
Descendant of Isaac and Jacob
Genesis 17:19 Numbers 24:17Matthew 1:2
Micah 5:2Luke 2:1-7
Hosea 11:1Matthew 2:13-15
Tribe of Judah
Genesis 49:10Luke 3:33
Jesus entered the Temple
Malachi 3:1Luke 2:25-27
Lineage of David
Jeremiah 23:5Matthew 1:6
Jesus’ birth followed by suffering and sorrow
Jeremiah 31:15Matthew 2:16
Jesus lived a perfect life, died by crucifixion, resurrected from death, ascended the Right Hand of God.
Psalm 22:16 Psalm 16:10 Isaiah 53:10-11 Psalm 68:18 Psalm 110:11 Peter 2: 21-22 Luke 23:33 Acts 2: 25-32 Acts 1:9 Hebrews 1:3
Spiritual Legacy for the Next Generations:  God/Jesus fulfilled his plan for the future Jeremiah 29:11


Friendships seem to ebb and flow. One thing I have found is that true friends can be hard to find, especially the ones who will stick by your side through all the ups and downs. I guess it seems more people can find a reason not to forgive and move on to another than those who are willing to forgive and build the friendship. I know that I am forgetting that this world is not full of those who love and know Christ, but so many Christians can be first in line to rip a friendship apart. It just doesn’t seem to matter. We, I included, forget our example in Christ and how to treat each other, love each other, and serve each other. I think we all want more from people who are sinners can provide to our egos. Jesus knew this and that is why he said to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Then again I don’t think I know how to love myself enough to forgive myself, so how can I forgive others. How can they forgive me?

John 15: 12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.”

Of course, I know how to forgive and I try to open the door for forgiveness because I do not want to carry the burden. I want to let it go and seek reconciliation, but sometimes I just have give the burden to the Lord because “the friend” wants to carry the burden. Only God can take that burden from them if they choose to forgive and release it.

Proverbs 17:9 “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.”

Just because I know how to forgive doesn’t mean that my sinful nature forgives the many times that it should the way the Lord expects. I stop sometimes and think back to how many times, I have carried the burden and expected so much from someone because I thought I was the one being hurt. I was probably the one doing the hurting and creating the separation that Jesus does not want between friends. This haunts me. Do I count others over myself, or do I make myself more important. Why is something like forgiveness so hard when in reality it is so easy. I guess I forget so often the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Instead of placing that on others we should first practice it even when we don’t think we should be the one to forgive because when I do, I really see my sin.

Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”

Luke 6:31 “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

God has recently provided in my reading so much about friendship and related scriptures that I need to reflect on, but the ones that drive me are found in Proverbs. I want to be the friend that loves, that stands by a friend better than family, and shows others Christ in my life and actions. I can’t do that when I hold grudges and fail to forgive those around me, especially my friends. I am listening to you God and trying to focus on the people you place around me. I am trying to be a better friend to those new people you place in my life and those who have been in my life for so long. I realize how blessed I am to meet so many great people you have designed and created. We are all different, and sometimes we forget that you created all those differences in each of us, yet sometimes the differences shine so much we see them as imperfections not gifts.

Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”

Proverbs 18:24 “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Proverbs 12:26 “One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

So I must stop being the one in charge. I must stop trying to make people give me and do what I want. God just calls me to love. Why would someone want to be my friend if I am angry at the world and at them, but at the same time as I love others, I must also be careful of angry people in the world. God does not call me to get wrapped up with angry people who may pull me from the arms of God. As hard as it is to remember, God is the one who seeks vengeance not me, so that I can love even those who bring anger, seek hate, and desire relationships that are not of God. May I be the example of Christ in others lives. May I be the friend that Christ calls me to be. By following Christ’s example may I provide encouragement to others and lead them into your arms, Lord.

Proverbs 22: 24-25 “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.”

Romans 12: 19-21 “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

Above all may I learn to live by the words of Job.

Job 6:14 “He who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.”

I am the Resurrection and the Life

John 11: 17-44

I have read the story of Lazarus’s resurrection many times, but have never thought about it in terms of my own resurrection and life everlasting. Jesus made a choice to wait four days to show the world his purpose here and resurrection so that those who believe might have life everlasting through forgiveness of our sins.

Jesus arrives in Bethany where Lazarus has died four days ago. Mary and Martha are in mourning for their brother. When they hear that Jesus has arrived in Bethany, Martha quickly goes to meet him while Mary chooses to stay behind at the house. I know there is significance here, about how the death impacts these two women, I can see that everyone responds to death and grieving in different ways. Martha is angry as scripture soon shares, but Mary sees no reason to go ahead to Jesus and point fingers since her brother is gone and continues to mourn in her home. It is a reminder that people all grieve differently and feel the loss of loved ones from their lives in different ways.

Martha arrives to meet Jesus in what I read as upset and even angry with Jesus for not coming sooner, and tells Jesus that Lazarus would not have died had he come sooner. Yet, she believes that even now Jesus can bring Lazarus back to them. Martha has tremendous faith. This faith is one that I can quickly read over, but her belief in the resurrection of her brother is real and she is not afraid to utter the words to Jesus. Jesus responds to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha agrees that he will one day rise again in the last days, and Jesus then responds to her once again with, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me , though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believe in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” Martha responds that she believes that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.” Once again Jesus is reminding not just Martha and those with her but the world that life everlasting only comes from him. He wants to hear the words from Martha and she has no hesitation in her belief even as she mourns her brother’s death. She stands strong in her faith.

Martha returned to her sister and to tells her that Jesus was asking for her, so Mary leaves and goes to meet Jesus. She arrives and falls before Him saying as her sister that if Jesus had been here Lazarus would be alive. Mary comes to Jesus not with anger but with grief. When Jesus saw her weeping he was deeply moved in his spirit and troubled. The emotions of Mary move something inside of Jesus.

Mary takes Jesus to the tomb. Jesus wept. This one line in scripture is short yet powerful. Jesus wept for Lazarus for Mary and Martha, and for the world. Maybe Jesus is even weeping for himself because he knows what is about to happen in order to bring Lazarus, Mary, Martha, and me into his kingdom. Then Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead. He asks his Father aloud so that others could see and believe, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this on account of the people standing around, that they may believe that you sent me.” Jesus does not need to speak to his Father aloud, but he does, so that the world would see his example and the image of resurrection about the happen.

Lazarus walks out of his tomb just as Christ would soon rise from the dead and walk from his tomb to cleanse us of our sins. Such a bold move by God. Such a sacrifice of both God and Christ just to bring me into the family. I want to rise from my grave like Lazarus! I want to walk the streets of gold made for me. I want live with my Father and Christ one day!

I revisited the resurrection of Lazarus recently at a funeral. At first I found it odd for this passage to be chosen, but as the funeral continued and the story was told again in this setting, I could see how important it was to send hope to others that through Christ and Christ alone can we be saved. Lazarus was only saved by Jesus and I can only be saved by Jesus as well. What a beautiful message as we said goodbye to a beautiful young woman. She will Rise. I will Rise. Amen

I Do Not Understand

Why do I do the things that I do not want to do and can not seem to be able to do the things that I want? What is the road block inside of me? Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me and then I read this scripture and know that my sinful nature is winning over my desire to do what I feel called to do. Why am I letting Satan inside my heart.

Romans 7:15-20 – 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

These scriptures are a reminder to me that sin dwells in me just as in others. I am no better than anyone else. The only Hope that I have is God, but I must be willing to voice the sin and do the hard work to pull it from my heart. If I keep my sin hidden it only continues to hurt others and my relationship with God because he can see all that is happening inside of me. God knows when I am hiding my sinful nature, so I must always seek God and be public in asking for forgiveness from God and others that my sin affects.

If I fail to acknowledge my sin then I am deceiving myself, and Satan who is the author of deception begins to control my path. I am warned in Galatians 6:7, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.” Hiding from sin will only cause me to reap a more sinful nature and do the things that I do not want to do. Hiding will push me further from God and his path for me. No matter how hard it is to confront my sin, I can only find peace by facing my sin and asking for forgiveness from God and others hurt by my actions.

Our world today is full of deception. As a Christian I have to examine what I believe or I will be deceived by what I think I know to be truth instead of what is truth. The world is full of deceit and deception. I see people who fiercely believe because they have been deceived by the world for so long that they can not see the truth that God has laid before us. What do my rose colored glasses see that is not the truth? Christians must examine more carefully through the lens of God and become examples for others to see truths.

Jeremiah 17:9 – “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; who can know it?” (NIV). “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (ESV).

I wrote about this verse and the heart years ago. Here is a link to that blog post “Searching for a New Heart. This was a multi-part exploration if you would like to walk back in time with me.

Part 2: Searching for a New Heart Part 2

Part 3: Searching for a New Heart Part 3

Final: Searching for a New Heart

As I read this verse again and think about my sinful nature, I am thankful that vs 9 is followed by vs 10. “I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” May God search my heart and provide the spirit of discernment to overcome evil with good. I pray that my fruits be worthy of God. I pray that I am example of a Christian who walks her path and discerns truths as God sees and not as I see.

I will close with this verse from the New Testament –

1 Corinthians 10:9-14 – “We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents, nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer. Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come. Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.”

I pray for escape from temptation and flee from the things of this world, may God always provide the way out and may I always seek his way. I push myself to learn and understand why I sin and how to live a life more Christ like in the eyes of those around me, in the eyes of those watching me.

I know that I am a sinner and will always be as I walk on this earth, but may others see a person striving to walk the path that God has laid before me and an example when temptation and sin fall into my life. May I extend the grace God gives me to others. I know that is not what others may see at this moment but may God help me walk more firmly on his path. May God show me my path more clearly as I strive to walk with him.

 Ephesians 2:10 “For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them.”

God’s Way, Not Mine

Soar Like an Eagle

Proverbs 16:2 – “All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord.” NIV

Proverbs 16:2 – ” All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit.” ESV

My Soul Weeps

Oh, how this verse hurts down deep inside my soul. I am that person who wants to believe my actions and motives are right in the moment, but am I really able to examine my heart and find the real truth in the motives of my actions? Yes, the sinful part of me feels capable of knowing what my actions mean, but what does my heart reveal to my Heavenly Father. A Father who reveals the real truths behind my ways causes me to cry as Isaiah did in chapter 6. “Woe to me…” I am not worthy of his love and grace, yet he continues to call me his own. Thankfully, I am a child of God no matter the mistakes I make and the destruction I leave in my wake. He will graciously forgive me if I ask and know that my ways are wrong. Do others see this in me?

Although, I feel my actions and words are good, I have to realize that I am a sinner and that those actions and words may not feel so good to those around me who receive my words and actions. Sometimes, I need to weigh my heart by the Lord and not lean on or into others to carry my burdens which they are not meant to carry. Do I need to be right and justify my behavior which may lead to shaming others which is toxic? Do I reach for self-justification for my actions? If God is my defender then I do not need to justify myself. Again, sinful nature at work just like Saul in 1 Samuel 13: 8-12. Saul made decisions he was not suppose to make and then justified those decision by blaming Samuel. How many times have I made a decision that leads God to say, “What have you done?” 1 Samuel 13:11.

I don’t want to reach for Self-Justification because it is:

  • Weakness that mask itself as a strength
  • impatience
  • Shuts down any discussion
  • Arrogant
  • Lazy

These are things that I do not want to see in myself or others to see in me, and I know that sometimes my sinful pride shows off with self-justification. I pray Lord for your wisdom and strength!

Soar like an Eagle

Lord, I want to soar on your wings. I want to walk the path you designed for me. I want so much more from my life. I read this verse and feel that I have missed something that God wants from me. I want to stop and listen for his voice, so that I may soar on his wings! “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31 (NIV). Lord, I place my hope and strength in you. Show me how to soar on wings like an eagle, how to run and not grow weary, and how to walk and not grow faint. Show me how to walk in the path designed for me.

Sometimes the Rocky Path is the Way

Final Thoughts

Prayer: Lord, I need you to show me a clear path and give me wisdom in my actions especially around others. Thank you for this verse, the impact is weighty and immense. What am I missing? Amen.

Romans 7:15 – “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”

Reach for the Honeycomb, Not the Bees

Calm After the Storm – May my words be the calming waters, the honeycomb

Proverbs 16:24 – “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

How many times have I chosen to speak out in anger and hurt the feelings of others before choosing the honeycomb and speaking kindness to diffuse the situation? How many times have I chosen pride to have the last word and cause further hurt instead of the honeycomb for those I love? Guilty here.

I certainly know there are situations that warrant someone not to continue down a path of abuse, but many times I know I have made the wrong choice with my words especially to friends and family. How easy it is to abuse them and cause more hurt and pain. Why? My sinful nature in full force.

Although, I pray for the wisdom of Solomon before such conversations, I always seem to fall short. I never stop believing that God is there and will give me the wisdom and provide the peace if I continue to follow that path even when my sinful pride takes over. I believe God’s words ” And the Lord gave Solomon wisdom, as he promised him. And there was peace……. 1 Kings 5:12.

I am just so bad at reaching for the honeycomb only to pull out the bees. I want peace and pray not to hurt those I love, but the bees just swarm and I miss the honey. The honey from God which is always so close in His Word. Such as Psalms 119:103, “”How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” I want the sweeter than honey words from God to flow from me. I want others to see a person who puts other above herself and uses God’s words of honey first.

All people are created in the image of God, this is constant reminder to me when I meet people, disagree with people, and watch the world go round. I am not special, we are all created in his image. No one can be above another. All people are made by God. Stopping to remember this puts perspective in difficult places. I am a sinner saved by the grace of God. That is why I always can find the bees.

Friends and Family are created in God’s image which is a reminder to me no matter how trivial something is or even whether intent for pain was meant, each person receives in different ways. God made us different and I have to remember to love and reach for the honeycomb and not the bees when this happens. Let the honey drip from my lips and not the sting of the bees. This is hard remember to turn the other check. Matthew 5:39, “But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”

God’s light shining on calm waters. His wisdom brings you peace.

Matthew 5: 14-16, “14 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that[b] they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

Prayer: Lord give me the wisdom to find the honey before the bees.


Goals for 2022

Mid Year Check in…..

I know it is time for a reset and to revisit the habits/goals that I created for year 2022. I spent the first part of this year reading a book that lead me to develop some life goals for the year. Pen to paper covering the four quadrants outlined in part of the book. I know that I have forgotten slowly to read them and act on them each day as I should, so time to be repeated aloud.

Core Beliefs

1 Thessalonians 5:18: “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

  • Happiness is a Choice
  • Be Thankful

1 Peter 2:16: “Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover up for evil, but living as servants of God.”

  • Always serve God First
  • Be Free, but a slave to God. This is how freedom not taken away.

Looking back over my core beliefs, I can at least feel good about making happiness a choice even in the toughest times, but I fail to be as thankful as I should and to remember to always serve God first above all else in this world. Reading this again does make me stop and think about the time I spend on other things each day and don’t spend with my Father in Heaven. I become a slave to the world and not to God.

Core Values

Deuteronomy 6:4-8 (vs7): “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

  • Success=To God
  • Better Relationships
  • Less Judgement
  • Love All People with Action
  • Find Happiness with Less Materialism
  • Reflection: Doing the Best You Can With What You Have, Where You Are

This is a tough one to revisit. I can see all my human mistakes with people especially people I love. The best part of this reflection is am I building better relationships, passing less judgement on others, can people see my love in my actions. Although the sinful nature that I have sometimes misses material things and I still have plenty, I have learned to live with some much less, but I need to push myself even more to rid myself of stuff.

Life Goals

Hebrews 11:1: “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Success = For Yourself

  • Love Myself in order to Love Others Better
  • Appreciate People more that God places in our path

This is a hard one to revisit because I know that I do not love myself easily. I always say and try to begin a new and feel strong, but my daily failures only show me again and again that I need to work harder and then I listen to my weaknesses and fail to love myself fully. I just see all my mistakes. How can I love others, How can I appreciate those God places before me to bless, love, help, etc. when I see myself as so unworthy and such a failure for Him. I know all these thoughts are wrong, yet I let them win over my soul and keep me from following God’s plan for my life. I have to start living for God and not this world.

Daily Habits

Psalm 119:103: “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” Measurable, Meaningful, and Maintainable Commitment Devices:

  • God’s Word
  • Journaling
  • Coffee Conversations

I definitely need to work on my daily habits. As this was the focus of the book I read, which I will leave a information about at the bottom of this post. Forming habits to meet goals and bring your life in alignment to what God’s plan is in your life. I need to work harder on reading his word and applying it to my life through writing which I am at least doing right now. Finally sharing the word, this was a habit my husband and I set to share together over coffee. We need more Coffee Conversations!


Lord, help me grow in this Journey of recognizing Your Presence with me. Help me prioritize the quiet moments to hear Your Voice through Your Word, and to believe what You placed in me ~ Amen

Closing Thoughts: So glad I stopped and did this mid year spiritual check on my soul. I know my soul needs more of God and less of the world. I need to keep reaching for Jesus. Take the time to do your own mid year spiritual check and search your soul. Have you lost your way? I think I have gotten sidetracked.

Note: See the picture below to see how I list my goals and see them each day. I got this idea and others about starting habits from the book I read first to start the year off. Do It For A Day by Mark Batterson. I highly recommend. Read it and begin some new habits today!

God is Calling Me

God’s Beauty is Everywhere

Where have I been for the past 4 years?  I believe my last post was September 2019.  During 2019 my posting was sparse, and I finally let it go for another endeavor which I will share here.  At the beginning of 2019, I retired from my job of 28 years which I loved so much.  It was a hard decision but my husband and I purchased a Power Catamaran in April, 2018 and we made plans to travel through the Caribbean.  We spend 2019 getting to know our boat, selling our home, and putting minimal into storage.  By the end of 2019 we were ready to go!  We headed to the Bahamas first.  So beautiful, so special, and I could see God’s beauty and love all around me.  As we traveled I began another blog and video blog of our travels.  All of this can be found on our website www.solmatesjourney.com. This was a huge project and I stayed behind.  But family and friends wanted to see what we were doing.  

Covid hit, early 2020 and kept us from going any further, so back to the US we came.  We spend the next year around Florida and the Keys.  We became grandparents and then the world slowly began to open in 2022 but the islands were just too irregular to start that way, so I am in Mexico!  I have been working really hard to catch up on the travel videos and blog ( which I am not but getting so close)  so I am going to try and take back a little piece of my passion which was writing and sharing how God continues to bless me.  I feel God calling my back to this.  I will not post weekly but will try to be more consistent to get back in this groove.  God has blessed me beyond what I deserve and I feel his tug. As I look back I have a few drafts that I saved, so I will revisit those and hopefully get these up as he speaks. God Bless

May God have all the Glory, Always.

May I learn to be fishers of men

Bible Verse: “How Sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” Psalm 119:103

Two things combined have me deeper and closer to him right now and is drawing me back to his word and this blog once again.  

First, My daughter gave me the study of Elijah by Priscilla Shirer for Christmas, and finally I was able to get started.  I am moving through the book slower than laid out but it is causing so much deep thinking about my life and the world around me.  I am digging into His word and hearing the words as they connect to this world.  One it scares me some, but two I am driven to learn and dig deeper knowing that I must walk to a different beat than the world and that may not always be easy, but Abba will walk with me.  I am not finished yet, but this walk with Elijah is teaching me so much not just about me and Elijah but others in the Bible and their walk.  Connections that I have not made in scripture before are being made and opening my eyes.  I am sure that I will write ever more about Elijah as I walk through may own Cherith and Zarphath.  (1 Kings 17)

Second,   I started watching the series The Chosen about Christ.  Some may not approve of the liberties taken to create this series, but I like it and yes I have questions, but seeing the stories and connection to the old testament as well as how Jesus changed the world as help to connect me once again to his word.  The absurdity watching the Pharisees care so much about rules and laws but not people.  But, I have to remember that not all Pharisees were this way. How did God’s people come to this?  How did those of such importance to God at one time become so selfish and rich and chose to care so little for what was happening in the world around them.  It is so hard to believe, but then the series takes me back and I see that God’s people are usually one to two generations away from leaving God behind for the world and other gods.  This again scares me, but I know that I must walk even stronger and closer to my Abba and love all people so that my light for him will shine to others. The Chosen has challenged me to dig even deeper into the Gospels and what lies there and how they were written.  How did Jesus choose to call his disciples and go where he went.  His time was short but purposeful and planned by his Abba.  

So I will close with the prayer I prayed this morning which is from scripture:

“We acknowledge our wickedness, O Lord, and the iniquity of our fathers, for we have sinned against you. Do not spurn us, for your name’s sake; do not dishonor your glorious throne; remember and do not break your covenant with us. Are there any among the false gods of the nations that can bring rain? or can the heavens give showers? Are you not he, O Lord our God? We set our hope on you, for you do all these things.” Jeremiah 14: 20-22