Why do I do the things that I do not want to do and can not seem to be able to do the things that I want? What is the road block inside of me? Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me and then I read this scripture and know that my sinful nature is winning over my desire to do what I feel called to do. Why am I letting Satan inside my heart.

Romans 7:15-20 – ¹⁵ For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. ¹⁶ Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. ¹⁷ So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. ¹⁸ For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

These scriptures are a reminder to me that sin dwells in me just as in others. I am no better than anyone else. The only Hope that I have is God, but I must be willing to voice the sin and do the hard work to pull it from my heart. If I keep my sin hidden it only continues to hurt others and my relationship with God because he can see all that is happening inside of me. God knows when I am hiding my sinful nature, so I must always seek God and be public in asking for forgiveness from God and others that my sin affects.

If I fail to acknowledge my sin then I am deceiving myself, and Satan who is the author of deception begins to control my path. I am warned in Galatians 6:7, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.” Hiding from sin will only cause me to reap a more sinful nature and do the things that I do not want to do. Hiding will push me further from God and his path for me. No matter how hard it is to confront my sin, I can only find peace by facing my sin and asking for forgiveness from God and others hurt by my actions.

Our world today is full of deception. As a Christian I have to examine what I believe or I will be deceived by what I think I know to be truth instead of what is truth. The world is full of deceit and deception. I see people who fiercely believe because they have been deceived by the world for so long that they can not see the truth that God has laid before us. What do my rose colored glasses see that is not the truth? Christians must examine more carefully through the lens of God and become examples for others to see truths.

Jeremiah 17:9 – “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; who can know it?” (NIV). “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (ESV).

I wrote about this verse and the heart years ago. Here is a link to that blog post “Searching for a New Heart“. This was a multi-part exploration if you would like to walk back in time with me.

Part 2: Searching for a New Heart Part 2

Part 3: Searching for a New Heart Part 3

Final: Searching for a New Heart

As I read this verse again and think about my sinful nature, I am thankful that vs 9 is followed by vs 10. “I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” May God search my heart and provide the spirit of discernment to overcome evil with good. I pray that my fruits be worthy of God. I pray that I am example of a Christian who walks her path and discerns truths as God sees and not as I see.

I will close with this verse from the New Testament –

1 Corinthians 10:9-14 – “We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents, nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer. Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come. Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.”

I pray for escape from temptation and flee from the things of this world, may God always provide the way out and may I always seek his way. I push myself to learn and understand why I sin and how to live a life more Christ like in the eyes of those around me, in the eyes of those watching me.

I know that I am a sinner and will always be as I walk on this earth, but may others see a person striving to walk the path that God has laid before me and an example when temptation and sin fall into my life. May I extend the grace God gives me to others. I know that is not what others may see at this moment but may God help me walk more firmly on his path. May God show me my path more clearly as I strive to walk with him.

 Ephesians 2:10 “For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them.”