Today is Good Friday, the beginning of our Easter weekend and the culmination of Lent. This has been a time of reflection and fast for many. This time of year causes me to just pause and evaluate my life and relationship with Christ. I choose to give up a little something to only slightly feel the impact of what Christ had to sacrifice for me. His sacrifice is one that I alone can never match, but my walk here can be for him! In the words of Paul found in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.”
Celebrate the Life of Jesus
My words will not be the words that should be typed or read this weekend. Stop and read the resurrection story and celebrate the sacrifice and love Christ had for us all! This story can be found:
Mark 16
Matthew 28
Luke 24
John 20
Each is story is powerful and shares how much Christ loves each one of us.
Renewal
Easter is like a New Year. I feel a sense of renewal. A reminder of my walk and relationship and an opportunity to make it stronger. Let the gospel work. I pray you stop and read. Stop and Listen
Closing Verse: Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” John 11: 25-26
Challenge: Find time to reflect on Christ’s Crucifixion and Resurrection.
Coffee is brewing and the warm smell fills the room and I want to linger here in the presence of my Father. He is calling me and I have not been listening. I have been avoiding, living my own life, believing I was still in relationship with him only to find myself afraid, alone, and on my knees. “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18. I know I have not been listening, but God has my attention. I know that he held my life before me and called me back to him. I am here in your presence once again, not pretending to be whole, but broken and needy. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3. I am binding my wounds.
Self-Righteous
Who have I been? I have been a selfish, self-righteous person, yet Romans 3:10 reads, “As it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one;” I have not put others first, I have failed to not just be strong in myself, but allowed myself to wallow in self-pity. I see all the ugliness inside of me. Who did I think I was? Did I feel I was better than others? Did I forget to walk in others shoes? How did I find my way back to this place? I know I have allowed Satan a crack into my life and he encouraged me to think only about myself. Why did God choose to bring me out of this pit? I feel the weight of my selfishness lifting off of me as God is showing me my lack of relationship with him and begins to heal the brokenness. “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” Psalm 51:17.
Broken Vessel
Walking along in my selfish life, I suddenly found myself in a situation that was like deja vu deep from my past. Where did that ugly person come from? This person that I thought was lost suddenly emerged like a monster from the dark. Yet, probably not as suddenly as it seemed. Recently, I have been a “Debbie Downer”. I have been a self-righteous pompous person. So finding myself selfishly raising my ugly head like a monster in the dark may have seemed sudden, but now I see that I was racing down a path of destruction. The humiliation means I want to hide, but I know that I have to move forward. Although, the pain that comes with seeing my selfishness hurts deeply, it has been nothing like facing the emptiness where God should be in my life. It is nothing like knowing he could choose to take my life with each breath, but has chosen to hold my beating heart in his hands.
My heart is broken because I have broken the most important person in my life. I alone have created deep pain and sorrow that is hard to forgive. I have hurt my husband deeply and that pain is like no other pain. I imagine that the pain God has felt is much the same, watching his son hang upon the cross for my sins. Words and sometimes even actions can not repair such damage, but I pray that our relationship can weather the storm. Romans 5:1-5 promises me, “Father, we feel the burden of our sin, and it is exhausting to try and make ourselves whole. Our hearts long for your presence. We rejoice in our sufferings, know that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” I am a broken vessel… (a few lyrics from a powerful song)
Broken Vessels
You take our failures, You take our weakness
You set Your treasure in jars of clay
So take this heart Lord, I’ll be your vessel
The world to see Your life in me
Oh, I can see You now
Oh, I can see the love in Your eyes.
Laying Yourself down
Raising up the broken to life
“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” Corinthians 4:7
(1° Broken Vessels – 00:00 2° Touch The Sky – 09:32 3° Say The Word – 13:55 4° Heart Like Heaven – 18:19 5° Closer Than You Know – 24:49 6° Even When It Hurts – 33:34 7° Oceans – 39:52 8° Love Is War – 48:48 9° Captain – 56:05)
Worthy
As I contemplate my sin and move toward Christ, I realize that I am worthy in God’s eyes. I feel God drawing near to me and feeling his strength now I can see where my focus should be. First and foremost I need to focus on him and ensure he is the priority in my life. “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” James 4:8. So I seek his presence in prayer and in my daily walk. I think of others before myself. I smile so others might smile. I seek the happiness in my life that is my choice and no one else. I trust in God. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6. I am focusing on my heart once again in order to put my Father first in my life.
My Worth Is Not What I Own
Two wonders here that I confess
My worth and my unworthiness
My value fixed – my ransom paid
At the cross
I rejoice in my Redeemer,
Greatest Treasure,
Wellspring of my soul
Closing Verse: “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
This past week I was reminded of God and how he works in my life. I move through life and forget sometimes how much control he really has in my walk. How he cares for me and others around me? This week he reminded me once again of his presence in my life. “In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you.” John 14:20. I stood in a moment when I knew that God had been at work.
Skip it or not?
I have to honestly admit I was dreading something this past week. The snow at the beginning of the week made it even more desirable to skip out on a promise I had made, but I knew I had given my word so I plunged forward. I guess I felt my heart strings being pulled and did not even know why. “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28. That is the work I saw from the Lord this week. He used everything to bring good not just into my life but to those around me. I am not sure if those with me realized the impact but this day did not pass me by without knowing that God had been in full control and done his good work.
Where God is?
Now looking back from the other side and knowing that I almost did not go, I can see God’s full plan and the blessings he provided for me. I thought I did not want to go, but now I know that I would not have missed it for the world. What I thought I was going for had nothing to do with the lesson that God taught me that day. Where was God? He was in an unexpected place where I was not looking, yet he reminds me to look every where for him. “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13. Maybe it was a slap in the face to remember that I am to be seeking him, but when I fail like this past week he will seek me. “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Luke 19:10
Closing Verse: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5
Challenge: Seek God first in all that you do, but know that he will seek you in a place you might least expect it.
Over the past week or so, I have watched the country say good-bye to a man who believed in the walk to Heaven. He has preached to Louis Zamperini and was known as the Pastor to the Presidents, as he prayed and advised many. He has loved so many people and so many have been touched by his passing. Even as he made his last trip from Montreat, NC to Charlotte, NC, the roads were lined with so many people who needed to say goodbye. I struggled to watch news report about him because for some reason losing him has brought forth in me so much emotion. I did not know him or his family, but he was just a person who seems to easily connect with people – thousands and thousands of people. This past Sunday night, I watch the short documentary and just cried, but I know that living or dead, Billy Graham belongs to God. “For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.” Romans 14:8. It feels like the world has lost something good. Someone who found the good when there seems to be so much hate. Rev. Billy Graham personally touched me at a trying time in my young life with his words, and for that I am thankful.
Zola
In November of 1987, I said another goodbye that caused more pain than I had felt in my 19 years of life. My grandmother, Zola Williams White, passed away. She was such a role model for me, and I saw and knew her love for Christ. What she and I failed to do was talk about death and her not being in my life one day. What would that be like? I was a Sophomore in College, I needed to know where she was or if she was. Seems strange to tell this story now, but back then without a laptop, smart phone, etc to do simple research, I began a journey to find some answers. “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” Hebrews 11:6
(my grandmother)
Heaven
This journey began by finding Christian bookstores and visiting each looking for answers about Heaven. I looked at so much material. I read many, but we all know that there is not really an answer to be found. I have to stand in my faith just as she had done for some many years. I know looking back she was not afraid, but where I found my comfort was in a book written by Rev. Billy Graham. Facing Death and the Life After was published in 1987 released just about the time of her death. I feel like it was written for me, and reading this book began a turning point for me to walk in faith after being so angry with God about losing her. I realized that Heaven is a place that Christ promised us while on Earth. “In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?” John 14:2. I long to be there.
Goodbye is not Forever
So watching the funeral and events leading up the funeral have been painful knowing that a great man of God is not among us anymore, but how happy heaven must be to have Billy Graham home. One day I pray that I meet Billy Graham in heaven standing along side my grandmother who I know is loving both Christ and Billy today. How do I know? God’s Word Tells Me -“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalm 119″105.
Closing Verse: “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1
Challenge: Christ is challenging us to follow him and walk by faith.
Life is hectic and chaotic sometimes and I just plod along and forget that others are watching me. They are watching me when things are awesome but more importantly when things are not awesome in my life. As the hectic part of this school year is pressing down on all educators, it is a great reminder for me to not let the winter blues block my bigger purpose and calling. There is a time for everything and during this time it is important for me to take a pause in my life and remember not to let everything get to me so that others see all my frustration. I need to be sure that I am not allowing this craziness to affect those close to me.
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
Re-Focus
I guess that God knew I needed a little re-adjustment in my life and He sent the above picture to me. Although a great picture, it is the words that have pricked my heart. What do others see in me? Do they see someone grumbling? complaining? exhausted? or do they see God? Right now, I am pretty sure others do not see God. So God sent this picture to remind me that my focus is not on this life but on allowing others to see him so they can find their way home into His glory one day. How do I adjust myself during this season? I seek his Word. “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16.
Shining for God
Scripture reminds me to shine my light for Christ because “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6. My light should lead others to Christ and then to God. So during this season of winter, I realize that more than ever I must focus on shining my light for others. The sun may not shine as bright and feel as warm, but I want my example of Christ to shine and warm others around me.
Serving Others
The last thing this quote reminds me is that I what I do is not for myself but to let God shine. I should not be boasting about my service for the Lord. I must remember that I serve him and everyone does not need to know because they will see Him in me. “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.” Proverbs 27:2.
Closing Verse: ‘Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12.’
Challenge: I pray that might light will shine and help others find their light so that the world can find Christ.
Allie's Way 