spirituality

Stopping to Rewind

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Overcoming Hurt

I need to push rewind again, Lord.  One of my first blog post was about how people hurt each other, and I wrote that if we could push rewind and hear what we had said, how would we feel about the words we spoke.  No matter how many times I pray for guidance with my tongue it is for naught when I open my mouth and speak without thinking about those who are impacted by my words.   Proverbs 18:21, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” is beating through me right now.  I am eating the fruits of my tongue.  I did not stop before I allowed my tongue to bear it’s sour fruit, so now I must partake of the fruit.  Yet, even in this moment when I know that God is the only one who can control my tongue.  James 3:8, “But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” These words are a reminder that I alone can not tame my tongue.

God’s Guidance and Healing

As I pray for God’s guidance for reconciliation for the words I have uttered, I find myself seeking God’s guidance from Proverbs.  Reading these words, I see that God is showing me both my wrongs and bringing peace to my heart.  I know that I can not heal the wounds that I have opened, but I pray that God will, as I learn from His words and seek his guidance.  My heart remembers God’s promise in Romans 8:28, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”  This verse gives me hope that God will heal and bring good from my tongue.

Proverb’s Lessons

Proverbs is full of painful verses at this time for me, but lessons that I need at this time. God’s word is special that way in knowing just what you need to read or hear whether for comfort or to teach.  Here are my lessons:

Proverbs 12:18, “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Proverbs 13:3, “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.”

Proverbs 17:27, “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.”

Proverbs 21:23, “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”

I pray God is speaking before you speak.

Closing Verse: Ecclesiastes 3:7, “A time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;”

Challenge:  May God give you more wisdom when using your tongue so it brings knowledge and understanding instead of poison that stabs at those you love.

 

Am I Captivating?

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Funny how things always seem to tie together.   I have been studying the heart in scripture as I shared on this blog last spring, but my exploring did not stop there God just directed me down different paths.   One such path was to pick up and read the book captivating Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge.  My daughter had given me this book to read about a year ago, but I guess God needed me to wait in order to fully feel the power of this book.  It is one of my all time favorite reads and I can not wait to read more of their work as well as this one again and again.   Of course, the book lead me to their website where I explored around and subscribed to a daily email.  These daily readings have been a blessing for me.  Amazing how they speak right to me when I need it the most.  Each reading is an except from one of their books, but is a devotional that sets my day and my life in order.  John and Stasi keep me thinking about how I love God, serve God, worship God, and live God!  I just wanted to take the time to share how much their writings have added to my scripture study on the heart.   Continuing to challenge yourself to grow in the Lord is hard sometimes.  We all get wrapped up in the day-to-day life and forget the passion we should have for Christ each and every day.  As God takes and creates a new heart for me, may I be bold enough to follow him and his call in my life.  May I share his love in my life each day, so that others see his work not mine.

Searching for a New Heart part 4

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kablam_glossy_heart God takes action and knows our heart, but it is still our heart.  Scripture does provide me with so much hope for a heart that can be renewed!   Reading how God works in our lives provides so much hope and comfort to me.  Especially in an evil world where our hearts can run wild.  I am typing this two days after the bombings in Boston.  Watching this horrific tragedy unfold makes me thankful that I am putting my heart in God’s hands.  I fear the evil that it can bring.  The joy of Boston is the goodness of people.  The stories of heroes and compassion touch my soul and my heart.  God is Good!  I pray for a heart like Lydia from Thyatira.  Acts 16:14 tells us of her heart, “One who heard us was a woman named Lydia, from the city of Thyatira, a seller of purple goods, who was a worshiper of God.  The Lord opened her heart to pay attention to what was said by Paul.”  My prayer is for an open heart to hear God!  God opens hearts and hardens hearts scripture tells us, so pray for an open heart from God.   As I have said earlier our heart leads us and shows us what is important in our lives.  Just thinking of the bombers and their hearts should have us all stop in our shoes.  Where are their hearts?  God has searched them just as he has ours.  1 Chronicles 28: 9 reads, “And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought.”  I am shaking.  Be Still.  Lord please open my heart and make it yours to love and understand.  I want to pass the “heart test” found in Jeremiah 12:3 “But you, O Lord, know me; you see me, and test my heart toward you…”  I want to pass that test for the Lord.  I know there is much work to be done in order for me to pass such a test.  The Lord’s testing sometimes is difficult.  But he always knows!  He knows where our heart will take us.  He knows us through our hearts.  Psalms 44:21 reveals this secret to us; “would not God discover this? For he knows the secrets of the heart.”  I want God to look at my heart and see Jesus holding it in the palms of his hand.  I want my heart to lead me to Jesus and his Father.  2 Corinthians 4: 6 shares with us the light God wants to shine from our hearts.  “For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.”  I want to be enlightened by my Father, and for that to happen I must also be patient and willing to wait on my Lord.  The Lord has work to do in my heart and I must trust that work.  In Psalms 27: 14 it is written, “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”  I am waiting Lord and will be still and follow my heart that I give to you.  I will wait Lord in order that Jesus has prepared my heart for you.  I have opened my heart to be yours…..  In closing today I want to share one last verse from 1 Thessalonians 3:13, “so that he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints.”  May God’s will be done in my heart and yours!

Searching for a New Heart

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kablam_glossy_heartSometimes I sit in awe of the Lord and how he leads us and draws us near to him.  Recently I have been praying and asking God to help me let go of some things which were causing me to become a person I did not want to be.    It is funny sometimes how something you have always known just really comes to light and you have to accept it for what it is.  I guess the finality of acceptance is something we as humans try to avoid.  I know that I have in many areas of my life.  As God recently opened my eyes to this ugly person I did not want to be, he sent me searching through scripture and everywhere I turned he introduced me to my heart.  Not this heart that I can be proud of but the real heart inside of me.  I will get to that.  I feel lead to share where God is leading me on this in-depth discovery of the heart.  I long for the new heart the scriptures speak of but to have that heart I must understand the heart as a whole.

The heart can be root of both Good and Evil, but more often the heart will lead us down the easiest road and usually that is not where we truly want to go.  As I read various scriptures, I decided to turn to Strong’s Commentary for some guidance and here I found a plethora of verses that speak of what is seated in the heart.  I was lead to all this because I felt  like things were not right and I quietly and silently began really listening to God.  He began to show me so many things about myself through a variety of means as I read the scripture.  Everything kept leading toward the heart and that caught my attention.  Specifically I began a 6 day devotional study on Love & Marriage I found and guess what Day 1 was on – you guess it – the Heart.  This first devotion is the initial cause of my digging.  I felt God calling me to the scriptures for more.  One of the verses shared in the study on day 1 was Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?” I felt completely and utterly a failure because following my heart without God would always lead to wickedness because the heart is wicked.  Who can know our heart that is simple only God and he knows all our wickedness.  So begins this journey to know my heart.

I have been visiting verses lately that speak of what is rooted in the heart.  These verses can sometimes seem good but if you really look at what can come from the heart you see the wickedness.

The first verse listed was from Jesus in Matthew 5: 28 “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”  So our sin before it is revealed has already been committed in our heart.  But what of lust as I noticed a verse was listed that spoke specifically to this word found in Romans 1:24 “Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves.”  So God pulled away and their hearts took over which lead back to Matthew 5:28.  What of our desires?  Romans 10:1 says “…my heart’s desire and prayer to God for Israel is that they may be saved.”  At first read this sounds good but looking deeper I see that we have to have control of what our heart desires.  Left alone we become the heart in Matthew 5 and Romans 1.  As I sit speechless and pray that the Lord will help me find my new heart with him.  I am almost afraid to continue on but the draw is powerful to read more.  What more words did Jesus have to say about the heart?

Mark 11:23 reads in the words of Jesus, “For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.”  This verse sounds so awesome, but to have this faith.  It is so easy to say yes Lord I have this much faith when really my heart doubts.  Jesus says in John 14:1 ” Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.”  I must not let the trouble and doubt fill my heart just the Lord so my faith can overcome the wickedness my heart’s desires.  These words are similar to those from Isaiah 35: 4 “Say to those who are fearful-hearted, ‘Be strong, do not fear! Behold, your God will come with a vengeance, With the recompense of God; He will come and save you.”  With such words from our Lord why do I let me heart be my guide?  My prayer is that God will be my guide and work in my heart. May he also be yours.

Time to meditate on these words from scripture.  Putting this puzzle together is encouraging but also brings me to my knees in need of prayer.  Before seeking more it is time for prayer.  Time to start seeking my new heart.

God’s Presence

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Lately God has been pricking me with his Grace and Goodness.  I know sometimes I can get down and be the natural worrier according to Francis Chan in Crazy Love, but these are the times especially right now that God shows me His Presence.  I don’t always see His Presence in me but through others my eyes are opened to his Grace.  As 2013 quietly rolled into my life, I hoped for Great things but so far the year has been full of mixed emotions.  Then God steps in and shows me his walk with others so I can see his awesomeness in my life.  Over six months ago I wanted time to share the Lord with other woman and now the Lord has richly blessed my life with a small group of women who are willing to meet in the evenings ( Thanks Rosanne, Lynn, and Jesse) and some great girls from work who I also meet with to study Crazy Love ( Love you – Amy, Elizabeth, Brenda, Felicia, Lori).  Amazingly God brings Beth Moore and Francis Chan together for me and WOW my mind really is spinning.  The lessons this month have really impacted  me and brought forward some special people whose testimony in times of suffering and trials inspires me to seek my Lord.  Next week a colleague and awesome math teacher ( Just ask Jesse) will enter the hospital to have his bone marrow eradicated.  The miracle is his brother is a perfect match but the pain he will endure breaks my heart.  One day his wife who is also a colleague shared that she and Blaine had so much peace through this walk and I could see God’s presence.  Just read Blaine’s Blog and you can feel the peace of God is walking with him through this valley.  He is one of my heros!

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Join his fight and read his blog I am Fighting with Blaine.

Some more friends of Derwin and I is another young couple who joined us on the cruise this fall for Michelle’s (Derwin’s Employee) wedding.  We have known them for awhile but during this trip and through the  fall we learned that Angela was very sick and the cruise might have been her last trip.  She now spends most days in bed due to the pain from her disease.  She is able to do very little with two young girls who need to be taken care of and a husband who must work.  I am crushed by their situation yet every time I talk to her she tells me how blessed she is, how wonderful God is, and I leave her presence knowing God was there.  She in the depths of her pain praises her Father and shows his love to others around her when she needs that love shown to her.  Thank you Angela for sharing yourself and your testimony with everyone you meet.  You are a beautiful woman

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Finally another colleague of mine – another young couple – right after the new year lost their baby.  She was 6 months along.  Not only was she happy after battling herself the previous year her pregnancy was a blessing and one she shared with everyone including her students.  Sadly she lost the little girl named Emerson she anticipated so much.  I really can not truly imagine her pain and her loss.  I have no idea how she really feels but she is also a blogger usually sharing wonderful stories for all to read, but now I feel the depth of her pain and the love she has for her God.  Her testimony gives me hope that no matter what is happening if Lauren can walk through her pain and feel the presence of the Lord then I need to stop worrying so much and give it all to the Lord.  This is my sin but these three individuals have really been a shining example for me in my walk.  Lauren’s Blog is the merry mrs mobley take a moment and read her testimony through this trial.

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For some reason these three are constantly on my mind and each time my bitterness or worrying takes over I try to stop and think of them and know that I need to point my life toward the Lord so I can feel His Presence and see his Grace.  I just wanted to share these wonderful people and thank God for the example they have been for me in my life.