Sometimes I sit in awe of the Lord and how he leads us and draws us near to him. Recently I have been praying and asking God to help me let go of some things which were causing me to become a person I did not want to be. It is funny sometimes how something you have always known just really comes to light and you have to accept it for what it is. I guess the finality of acceptance is something we as humans try to avoid. I know that I have in many areas of my life. As God recently opened my eyes to this ugly person I did not want to be, he sent me searching through scripture and everywhere I turned he introduced me to my heart. Not this heart that I can be proud of but the real heart inside of me. I will get to that. I feel lead to share where God is leading me on this in-depth discovery of the heart. I long for the new heart the scriptures speak of but to have that heart I must understand the heart as a whole.
The heart can be root of both Good and Evil, but more often the heart will lead us down the easiest road and usually that is not where we truly want to go. As I read various scriptures, I decided to turn to Strong’s Commentary for some guidance and here I found a plethora of verses that speak of what is seated in the heart. I was lead to all this because I felt like things were not right and I quietly and silently began really listening to God. He began to show me so many things about myself through a variety of means as I read the scripture. Everything kept leading toward the heart and that caught my attention. Specifically I began a 6 day devotional study on Love & Marriage I found and guess what Day 1 was on – you guess it – the Heart. This first devotion is the initial cause of my digging. I felt God calling me to the scriptures for more. One of the verses shared in the study on day 1 was Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?” I felt completely and utterly a failure because following my heart without God would always lead to wickedness because the heart is wicked. Who can know our heart that is simple only God and he knows all our wickedness. So begins this journey to know my heart.
I have been visiting verses lately that speak of what is rooted in the heart. These verses can sometimes seem good but if you really look at what can come from the heart you see the wickedness.
The first verse listed was from Jesus in Matthew 5: 28 “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” So our sin before it is revealed has already been committed in our heart. But what of lust as I noticed a verse was listed that spoke specifically to this word found in Romans 1:24 “Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves.” So God pulled away and their hearts took over which lead back to Matthew 5:28. What of our desires? Romans 10:1 says “…my heart’s desire and prayer to God for Israel is that they may be saved.” At first read this sounds good but looking deeper I see that we have to have control of what our heart desires. Left alone we become the heart in Matthew 5 and Romans 1. As I sit speechless and pray that the Lord will help me find my new heart with him. I am almost afraid to continue on but the draw is powerful to read more. What more words did Jesus have to say about the heart?
Mark 11:23 reads in the words of Jesus, “For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.” This verse sounds so awesome, but to have this faith. It is so easy to say yes Lord I have this much faith when really my heart doubts. Jesus says in John 14:1 ” Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.” I must not let the trouble and doubt fill my heart just the Lord so my faith can overcome the wickedness my heart’s desires. These words are similar to those from Isaiah 35: 4 “Say to those who are fearful-hearted, ‘Be strong, do not fear! Behold, your God will come with a vengeance, With the recompense of God; He will come and save you.” With such words from our Lord why do I let me heart be my guide? My prayer is that God will be my guide and work in my heart. May he also be yours.
Time to meditate on these words from scripture. Putting this puzzle together is encouraging but also brings me to my knees in need of prayer. Before seeking more it is time for prayer. Time to start seeking my new heart.